Better Left Undiscovered
by SolarRose29
Summary: Tony and Steve should know better than to rummage through the Black Widow's personal belongings. Dedicated to the wonderful Bree Colbern!


First and foremost I have to give the biggest shout-out to Bree Colbern! Her faithful posting of encouraging reviews has been such an uplifting experience for me. I can't say enough how happy Bree Colbern's lovely messages mean to me. She has quickly become one of my best friends on this site =D She's awesome and I just thought everyone should know that ;)

Second, I have to thank my sister for pulling this from her own storage of my old fics from a couple years ago. I was complaining about how I didn't have any happy fics (I am in the middle of writing a hurt!Bucky one shot (which has already been through three rewrites :P ), a Steve nightmare one shot and a Bucky post Winter Soldier movie one shot, all of which are depressing. So she found this for me and suggested I upload it here. So here it is.

P.S. this does make mention of undergarments. I know, how scandalous! :O

This is set way back when, in the AU where all the Avengers live happily together in Stark Tower and Steve is still shy and holds closely to his old-fashioned sense of propriety.

* * *

"Honestly Tony, I don't see why this can't wait until later," Steve protested, following hesitantly in Stark's footsteps.

"Don't be such a sissy," Tony reprimanded. "We kind of need some-"

"Help?" Steve interrupted.

"I was going to say advice," Tony corrected.

Steve raised his eyebrows.

"Either word you choose, Natasha's the only one who can give it to us. I mean, who knows Clint better than the lovely Widow." Tony waved him off. "Here we are." Tony stopped in front of the door to the suite. "Well, go ahead, Steve. Knock," he invited with a wide sweep of his hand at the closed door.

"What? No. You do it. This was your idea," Steve immediately protested.

"Nah. I don't feel like dying today." Tony crinkled his nose.

"And I do?"

"Out of the people in this room-"

"Hey! No more 'people in this room' jokes. Those really get on my nerves."

"I know. Why else would I make them? Now quit stalling and knock on the door." Tony pointed at it authoritatively.

With a frustrated sigh, Steve raised a fist and rapped on the wood a few times.

"No reply. She's not here. Probably on a mission for S.H.I.E.L.D. Guess we're out of luck. Good try though. Let's go." Steve turned around to head down the corridor.

It only took him two seconds to realize Tony wasn't coming. He spun on his heel and was shocked to see Tony peering through the keyhole.

"What in the world are you doing?" Steve demanded.

"I've never been in there before. Since you guys moved in, I've been in each of your rooms. Not hers," Tony mused.

"I'm pretty sure she wants to keep it that way. Now, come on."

"Hold on a second, okay?"

Steve sighed again and looked down the hallway, wondering if Natasha would appear at any moment. He turned back to Tony and was horrified to find that he had picked the lock.

"What do you think you're doing?! Are you crazy?!" Steve spluttered.

"Relax. It's not like she's gonna find out. Besides, I'm just going to take a quick look around and then we'll be on our way with no one the wiser." Tony nonchalantly crossed the threshold and disappeared.

Steve froze in the hall, debating whether or not to go in. An exclamation from Tony made his mind up for him. Steve wanted to make sure Tony didn't make more trouble than he already had. Rushing into the room, he paused when Tony whirled around guiltily, holding something behind his back.

"Whatever you took, put it back, Tony. I'm positive she knows where each particle of dust is. If you move one thing..." Steve warned.

A flicker of fear snapped through Tony's eyes before a mischievous gleam enveloped them.

"Okay, sure thing. I'll just put this," he whipped the object into sight, "back."

Steve's cheeks became pink but it wasn't the shade of flaming red Tony had been aiming for.

"Put that down, Tony," Steve managed to mumble.

Tony glanced between it and Steve. "You don't find this outrageous? It doesn't harm your archaic sense of propriety? You're okay with staring at a lady's undergarments?" he questioned incredulously.

Steve quickly averted his eyes. "Come on, Stark. Return it to wherever you got it from."

"In my defense, it was lying in the middle of the room, right there on the floor. But that's not the point. The point is that you haven't run screaming from the room with your eyes closed."

"Stark." Steve's voice was strained.

Tony continued unperturbed. "It doesn't make sense. I mean, if Pepper wears the top button of her blouse undone, you're all 'cover my sensitive eyes! I'm not allowed to see a girl's collarbone!'"

"You're exaggerating," Steve accused.

"And you're awfully comfortable with this," Tony countered, lifting the bright pink article of clothing by its straps.

"It's not like it's the first time I've seen one," Steve admitted reluctantly.

Tony cocked an eyebrow at him, a smirk spreading on his face.

"Not like that!" Steve protested vehemently.

Tony merely stared at him, daring him to continue.

Steve shifted his weight several times from his left foot to his right. "I started my Captain America career with a traveling show."

Tony's face showed his confusion.

"Remember?" Steve nearly begged.

A blank look was all he got in return.

Taking a deep nervous breath, Steve explained the rest. "Chorus girls."

Tony blinked once before bursting into uproarious laughter.

"What's so funny?" Steve demanded self-consciously.

"Oh, hoho, I bet that sure rocked your, hehe, little scrupulous world, haha!" Tony dissolved into a fit of laughter.

Steve blushed. "I don't see how any of it's funny."

"Me neither." A new voice said.

Tony's laughter died abruptly. Natasha stepped into the room, eyes narrowing on Tony. He and Steve shared a look. They were dead.


End file.
